Arranged Marriages Essays In Mla Format
Argumentative Essay on Arranged Marriage
Believe it or not there are two types of marriage, the so-called love marriage and the arranged marriage. Most people today don’t agree with arranged marriages but there are some people who have no say in the matter. Although the arranged marriage is not as desirable as the love marriage it does have its advantages.
Arranged marriages occur all over the world and in some parts is it popular or compulsory and in others not so admired. Most arranged marriages take place in countries such as, Pakistan, Japan, China and India. They are carried out in different ways by many different cultures and religions and are even carried out here in this country.
In Japan the modern system of arranged marriage is somewhat similar to blind dating in the United States. When a women’s parents think she has reached the age at which she can become a wife they set up a packet including a photo, her hobbies and interests. The man would have also done this as well. Then the woman’s family would show it around to any suitable candidates and if both parties agree they will meet up and discuss the final arrangements. Rather different to the way we fall in love.
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Here in England we fall in love by our own accord, we meat a man, or woman, fall in love then cost our parents a fortune by getting married. But this process would take possibly a number of years as where in arranged marriages it only takes just a few months.
In India arranged marriages have been around as long as probably the establishment of marriage itself. The people who play the vital role , the matchmaker are the ‘Aunts’ to them it comes as naturally as breathing. The find a suitable husband and then the bride and groom don’t often see each other until their wedding day.
In all arranged marriages you have to be the same nationality. So East Indians marry East Indians. In the Sikh culture the son or daughter have to marry the same cast, rich marry rich, farmers marry farmers.
Most people living in England today may not think much about arranged marriages and that they can’t possibly have any advantages. Well people who think that are partly wrong they aren’t all good and they do have their disadvantages but in some cases arranged marriages do work out and it is happening a lot in our country too.
Arranged marriages are a convenient way of getting married, the pressure for finding a partner is shared by the family and the chances of being left on the shelf is less likely. Also arranged marriages are often better planned marriages and tend to be planned many years in advance. Parents start saving for their children’s wedding day from almost the time when the child is born. The tradition of having an arranged marriage keeps the family happy. It is often the dream of most parents to see their child married off to a respectable family, ideally in a respectable fashion. They also provide stability for both parties and they have a lower divorce rate, but I think this is due to the fact that the family would not approve of divorce.
There are also a lot of arguments against arranged marriage there is the lack of love and respect between husband and wife, and if the woman or man is in love with another person before the wedding and has no choice but to marry the wrong woman it can often be very difficult. There is also the danger of marring into violence in some cases the husband has been violent towards his wife and the wife was too afraid to speak out ‘ my farther used to beat my mother, for no reason at all, she was to afraid of him to tell anyone and just put up with it for all the years they were married. I never wanted to be involved in an arranged marriage, and my mother respected my wishes despite the disappointment form my farther’ a passage written by an Asian girl living in England who witnessed the disadvantages of arranged marriage. It is also much harder to get a divorce under arranged marriage, it is possible but they would be disowned by their parents and treated badly by their community so the freedom is lost as well as the freedom of choice for the woman or man who is forced into such situations. There is also the lack of opportunity to marry for love.
‘The first time my mother set eyes on my father was on their wedding day, as she entered St George's Cathedral and walked up the aisle. She says she was so scared that it was as if she was sort of detached, floating above, looking down below on another woman who was moments away from being in life-long covenant with a man she'd never seen before.’ taken from an article written by an English girl whose parents had been subject to an arranged marriage, very uncommon, and tells us all about her views on arranged marriages.
So what is your view on arranged marriages? Has this article widened your knowledge? My opinion is that they are good for some cultures if they are successful but they would never become popular in England and I feel for those of a different culture that do live here and have no choice in the matter, although they may not even think about what they are doing really its just their way of life.
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The Pros and Cons of Arranged Marriages
- Length: 902 words (2.6 double-spaced pages)
- Rating: Excellent
Arranged Marriages- Good or Bad?
The way in which arranged marriages are handled determines whether or not they are cruel and old-fashioned. I am now going to provide a balanced argument that takes all the different views into consideration.
Islam is one religion that uses arranged marriages. Not only are the marriages arranged by the parents but also by older relatives as well. They believe that the parents know all about their children so they are capable of choosing a suitable partner whom may enable the couple to have a successful marriage, all though if either the bride or groom disagrees the wedding cannot go on. The details of the marriage are set out in a contract which is a legal document. Hinduism is another group of people who have arranged marriages but not to the same extent. Hindus believe that a marriage is based on more than physical or emotional attraction and at one stage Hindus were strict about arranged marriages where the parent’s decision was final.
Marital incompatibility has been found to be a major reason for divorce. When the parents arrange the marriage they will have found someone who is compatible so that the marriage will work. When the parents pick someone they are drawing from experience typically 20 years of married life and they went through the same process no doubt. There is also a lower divorce rate in arranged marriages. When in a arranged marriage situation there is a lower expectation because neither side knows what to expect of the other person. Both sides imagine the worse scenario or outcome but when they get to the marriage and meeting the other person things turn out better than what they originally thought and they are willing to stay in the marriage and to make it work and get to know there partner better. There is a 0% - 7% divorce rate for arranged marriages compared to a 55% divorce rate in the England. Western societies seem to focus more on the physical appearance in relationships, therefore are more obsessed with love, sex, beauty etc. Marriages based on these things may not work out due to clashes in personalities, beliefs or common annoy things. In contrast in the eastern cultures that use arranged marriages put emphases on practical things such as integrity, diligence, ambition, humility, generosity etc.
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people therefore are getting married due to practical reasons and work on building the love in the relationship later.
However, not everyone agrees with arranged marriages and some believe it takes away freedom of choice. Someone else is deciding which direction your life is going in. When marriage is a consideration people are old enough to make their own decisions. Love marriages offer more independence and freedom in the context of choosing who you are with and what you do. Due to the parents choosing the partner for the woman she then feels obligated to stay in the relationship for the sake of the family pride and also respect in the community. There is a lot of pressure placed upon the child to conform to their parents expectations and she wants to make her family happy. If the family really cared about their daughter wouldn’t they let her make her own decisions?
How can you marry someone you do not know? When you know somebody before marriage there is a large understanding of each other’s needs and desires. Knowing someone before you get married, you mean what you are saying in your wedding vows not just saying them so that you may be married. In the love marriage there is more of a relationship built. There is a relationship when teenagers possibly, spend months or years together before you decide to dedicate yourself to your partner. Divorce does not necessarily happen due to bad choice. One reason is because these days women are better educated and women are no longer afraid to stand up for themselves and take charge of their own lives. Arranged marriages can also go too far. Forced marriage is where the parents choose their child’s spouse with no input from the child and even if the child disagrees or disapproves the marriage still takes place. Some parents go as far as threatening the child to ensure cooperation. Where’s your freedom there? That is a real good way of ruining the family. Child marriage, parents marry their child off when children or even infants. They stay with their family until they are older and what if their partner has changed since they were young? This is very likely and could mean the couple no longer match.
In conclusion there seems to be arguments for and against arranged marriages. Good logical decisions are made in arranged marriages but they can lack the love that can be in a ‘love marriages’. Therefore it comes down to a personal opinion. Some do not have a choice because they choose to follow the religion they were brought up in but for Westerners they have choice whether to go down one path or the other. If it were possible to take the best of both ideas you may come up with a procedure that may benefit more of the people most of the time. However, it is not fair to say arranged marriages are cruel and old-fashioned if you are talking generally as it depends how the situation is handled.